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Posts Tagged ‘Love’

What is LoVe…

Below are 20 wise tips from a man that was recently divorced. I changed them a little, from a partner point of view to a more global one, since I believe that once you open up to LOVE, it will expand to everything around you and not only to one particular person.
Nevertheless one must not forget to start small and local. Small is beautiful… First start loving the person near you, then the people that surround you, the place you live, you home, the trees, the plants, and the generous soil you live on… Once you reach that state your love will expand and expand and expand.
The wise tips concern ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD before but as so many things in life, some things can’t be given but can only be obtained by experience. Sometimes one has to go through the experience, the pain and the suffering to gain the insight and to discover ones true essence…. LOVE.
 
1. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, and
NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. You will constantly change. We’re not the same people we were when we met, and in five years we will not be the same person we are today.
3. ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in others. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be surrounded by others and the beauty, wonders and miracles of this world.
4. TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not the job of others to make you happy, and others can’t make you sad either. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship with others and your love for life.
5. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX OTHERS… your job is to love others as they are with no expectation of them ever changing. And if they change, love what they become, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6. NEVER BLAME others If YOU get frustrated or angry at them, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You relationship with the people and the world around you will trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you can heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by others and the outside world, and you will wonder why you ever were.

7. Allow others to JUST BE. When they are sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to be with them and to tell them that everything is ok.  Let them know that you hear them, and that they are important and that you are that pillar on which they can always lean. Life is about change and emotions and like a storm the emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging they will trust you and open their soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN PEOPLE GET UPSET. Stand present and strong and let them know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what they are really saying behind the words and emotion.

8. BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make others laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

9. FILL the SOUL of others EVERYDAY… learn their love languages and the specific ways that they feel important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask them what is important to them and then to a list of 10 THINGS that make them feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make them feel special.

10. BE PRESENT. Give others not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are in company with others you are fully with them. Treat everyone around you as you would do with the most valuable person in your life.

11. DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will others. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

12. GIVE others their SPACE… People are good at giving and giving, and sometimes they will need to be reminded to take time to nurture themselves. Sometimes they will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds their soul, and if you give them that space they will come back with new songs to sing….  Tell them to take time for themselves, ESPECIALLY after to much setbacks and burdens. They need that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find themselves after they got lost in serving you and the world.

13. BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

14. BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let others in although they might not like what they find.… Part of that courage is allowing others to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around others and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

15. NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship with others. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

16. DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

17. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or others make, is like a heavy anchor to your relationship with the world and people around you and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

18. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten your happiness. Love will always endure.
In the end LIFE isn’t about ALWAYS being Happy. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together with with the people that surround you and with a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
19. Life is all about ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
20. These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED , and I fell in love again… but now with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my words and pain, share it with those  whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in them and they will learn to be the man the world is waiting for.
(Here is the original link… http://www.viralnova.com/20-marriage-tips/)
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